As The Crow Flies

by Auntie Establishment

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04:42
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about

*FOR A BIT OF WRITING ABOUT EACH SONG, CLICK ON THE TITLES*

Special thanks:
My beautiful sister, for putting up with me using her laptop
My friends, old and new
Everyone who let me stay with them, fed me or simply was kind to me while I was travelling
The punk community
Coffee

credits

released December 30, 2014

Every song was written, recorded and plagiarised by myself.

The album cover is a picture I took while staying at the paradise, Tribodar: tribodar.com

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Auntie Establishment Edinburgh, UK

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Track Name: Identity Crisis
I'm no longer a drinker, no longer a drunk
Never been much of a thinker and I've never shot junk
Well I gave up on smoking before I'd begun
And I'll die a nowhere man with two healthy lungs
I backed down from the fight before one punch was thrown
A coward in plain sight and a coward alone
Spent a life in the margins as a return-to note
And in my own production had just a recurring role

My friends tell me that I should watch my step
But I've not even learned how to walk yet
When I have I'll cross the valleys deep
But until then I must get to know me

Well I'm hardly a hero, barely a working class man
Drift as close to the zero as one possibly can
Now it seems that my future is back in my hands
But what good is a future if I don't know who I am?
Track Name: You Have To Live If You Want To Die
Lately I've swapped a park bench for a bed
But still I'd rather be waking up there instead
'Cos I'll trade the winter cold for all the ghosts I see 'round here
In run-down pubs, on pills, and in my head

I'm not running away, I'm running towards
A future that I might one day afford
'Cos I'm broke as hell, but I'm willing to earn
Enough shelter to survive the coming storm
I'm not looking to *gain*
Just for a neighbour who might know my name
Who I can offer my hand out to
I can feel myself dying
And I'm losing the ability to explain
My actions to you

I've made a friend of failure and being sad
But I've let down every friend I've ever had
So it's time I turned my back on turning my back on everything
And followed through on all the promises I've made

I'm not running away, I'm running towards
A future that I might one day afford
'Cos I'm broke as hell, but I'm willing to earn
Enough shelter to survive the coming storm
I planted my flag
At the base of my mood in a body bag
And it won't move til something changes
I can feel myself dying
But that must mean I'm living now

I'm living now
Track Name: A Composite
She traces a head on her pillow with a feather
And dances through piles of unopened letters
Just to call the overgrown garden her own
Hasn't planted a flower or seed there for years
Stayed skinny on cigarettes and sane on beer
That she paid for with a turned-down loan

As the radio drowns out the knocking at the door
And a pair of greedy arms pulls her down to the floor
She gets all that she's asking for
He's all that she asked for
But I know she deserves more

She calls for her mother at the grave, early morning
Dressed only in black, in debt to her mourning
And the guilt that won't go away
Thoughts drift to her father, alone in the hills,
And the man who demands her at home where she kills
The day, where she kills the day

As the radio drowns out the knocking at the door
And a pair of greedy arms pulls her down to the floor
She gets all that she's asking for
He's all that she asked for
But I know she deserves more

Gotta breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe

(sever the burden, she's urged on a Sunday
by a woman in white, who she tells she will, someday
but who's the one to fall? it's a long way down from the second floor
the cheap gold ring locked tight round her finger
refuses to leave as the pregnant summer lingers
on and on)

She still traces a head on her pillow with a feather
And dances through piles of unopened letters
Whispering softly that she deserves better
Doesn't she deserve better?
Track Name: Hide Your Sympathy (I'm Looking For It)
The city's heart beats,
it's definitely breathing
but I don't know if I am
it's sub zero, but I can't
see anything leave me
except excuses

how long has it taken to revert
to this imitation of a man?
cold sweats and comedowns
blood trickling from my palms

hide your sympathy
I'm looking for it
I don't deserve any
I brought it on myself

I can't separate
a memory from a dream
that terrifies me
cos what that means
is all I've got is now
and all I've got is nothing

how long has it taken to revert
to this imitation of a man?
cold sweats and blackouts
blood trickling from my palms

have I fought
a losing fight
to change what I know?
well I thought
the future might
see me coming home
but still I cannot recognise
the gradual rise and sharp decline
as change exmplefied
in this last bottle
of overpriced wine

hide your sympathy
I'm looking for it
I don't deserve any
I brought it on myself
Track Name: Us (This is a Love Song)
darling, I'm coming home
but I still don't know where I'm going
stuck my finger on the map
went there and now I'm coming back
but I'm sad to say that I'm coming back alone

you see I had an interview with God
and drinks with Mary Magdalene
I signed my name in blood
and for two months I was in love
but now our time's barely an echo on the wind

and I wonder if you'll forget
and I wonder if you'll call
and I wonder if you'll regret
saying anything at all

I'm a narcissistic man
you can see it in the pride I feel
but even I have to accept
another lover will come next
and that reality for me is far too real

so I'll dream another life
in which I'm 33; you're 29
we run into each other
and by chance we both discover
that we should've been together all the time

but I wonder if I'll forget
and I wonder if I'll call
and I wonder if I'll regret
saying anything at all

we sat and watched the stars
under the Portuguese sky
you didn't say a word
it was the only sound I heard
it was the perfect way for us to say goodbye

but I wonder if we'll forget
and I wonder if we'll call
and I wonder if we'll regret
saying anything at all
Track Name: Escape Artist
I've ran away from every home I've ever known
between concrete and the comfort of friends
and I'll claim today's the day that I've finally outgrown
the people on whom I could depend
I spend afternoons contently sleeping in my head
picturing a heartfelt farewell
I'm still sat alone a thousand miles from where I fled
is freedom just another jail cell?

but just like clockwork
I return to say goodbye
but it grows awkward
as we no longer can cry
I feed off sentimental
soundbytes of our lives
and I've grown hungry
in the time since I arrived

I wonder what you'd think if you knew what I'd become
or maybe I was like this all along
either way I'd appreciate a little something to numb
the restlessness I feel when I belong
I've hidden my white flag between my legs so no-one knows
the ease with which I packed it all in
but I can't walk away without revealing my mistakes
and I'm sick of speaking over fine-tuned violins

my father left me
a plan to leave behind
all the worries
we accumulate in life
he befriended
the bottle, so why can't I?
he befriended
the road, so why can't I?